No, I did not have too much oreo fluff this Thanksgiving. As you may or may not have noticed, the previous blog entry was a little off the wall based on what I normally post. The explanation is that I did not even write the previous blog. Most of you probably figured it out by now, but I have allowed my husband, Josh, to create entries in my blog. You can note which ones are his by the authorship mentioned below each entry.
Josh told me the other day that he was making funny "end of shift" reports at the end of each week that he sends to his supervisors. His coworkers get a kick out of these random humorous rants, so I told him he should post them to the blog. I find them funny and you may, too.
Check out Josh's birthday dedication blog that I wrote for him, to have some background about him. Now, I will have some oreo fluff today, thank you very much!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Kermit the Frog
Kermit the Frog…
Do you remember that song that was sung by Kermit the Frog? The one that goes, "Why are there so many songs about rainbows? And what’s on the other side?" I was thinking about this the other day while I was sharpening my axe. I think Kermit is either a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time, or he is a genius mastermind who actually devised an elaborate plan to get rid of songs about rainbows by making the rainbow colors synonymous with the gay community. We already can figure out how he voted on Proposition 8 in California. He voted for it! The reason I believe this to be true is because he obviously hates songs about rainbows and he knows that to be a part of the gay community is not that popular or else they would have passed Proposition 8.
I mean how else are you going to get rid of rainbow songs? Have you heard a song about rainbows in the last 20 years? I bet you cannot name one! I sure can't. I mean maybe Barney had one or two but we all know what team Barney bats for. Plus that sick twisted freak is a bonified chubby chaser and has no business being around children in the first place. Well enough about Barney the big purple dinosaur, Kermit is the focus of this weeks end of shift report.
I am not saying anything bad about Kermit; in fact I really admire his divisiveness and ability to say to himself "I don't like songs about rainbows, now what am I going to do about it." Most of us would have just sat down and cried about it, or convinced themselves that the problem is too big to tackle, but not Kermit the Frog. No, He got up off his green water tight ass and did something about it! We could all learn from his example that if you put your mind to something, you can do anything! It is no wonder why he is king of the puppet community and it is Kermit who got the girl (Miss Piggy). Miss Piggy doesn’t want to hang around Gonzo or even Animal. When she was faced with the task of who is she going to sleep with at the end of the day, she went for the smart guy.
So here’s to you Kermit the Frog, I lift my glass to you tonight as I recognize the pure genius of your ways. God bless you and America, the land of opportunity, the only place in the world that you can get rid of songs about rainbows by making rainbow colors synonymous with homosexuality.
Do you remember that song that was sung by Kermit the Frog? The one that goes, "Why are there so many songs about rainbows? And what’s on the other side?" I was thinking about this the other day while I was sharpening my axe. I think Kermit is either a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time, or he is a genius mastermind who actually devised an elaborate plan to get rid of songs about rainbows by making the rainbow colors synonymous with the gay community. We already can figure out how he voted on Proposition 8 in California. He voted for it! The reason I believe this to be true is because he obviously hates songs about rainbows and he knows that to be a part of the gay community is not that popular or else they would have passed Proposition 8.
I mean how else are you going to get rid of rainbow songs? Have you heard a song about rainbows in the last 20 years? I bet you cannot name one! I sure can't. I mean maybe Barney had one or two but we all know what team Barney bats for. Plus that sick twisted freak is a bonified chubby chaser and has no business being around children in the first place. Well enough about Barney the big purple dinosaur, Kermit is the focus of this weeks end of shift report.
I am not saying anything bad about Kermit; in fact I really admire his divisiveness and ability to say to himself "I don't like songs about rainbows, now what am I going to do about it." Most of us would have just sat down and cried about it, or convinced themselves that the problem is too big to tackle, but not Kermit the Frog. No, He got up off his green water tight ass and did something about it! We could all learn from his example that if you put your mind to something, you can do anything! It is no wonder why he is king of the puppet community and it is Kermit who got the girl (Miss Piggy). Miss Piggy doesn’t want to hang around Gonzo or even Animal. When she was faced with the task of who is she going to sleep with at the end of the day, she went for the smart guy.
So here’s to you Kermit the Frog, I lift my glass to you tonight as I recognize the pure genius of your ways. God bless you and America, the land of opportunity, the only place in the world that you can get rid of songs about rainbows by making rainbow colors synonymous with homosexuality.
I Am Thankful
I am thankful for many things in my life. Today marks a good day to reflect and personally give thanks, although I am thankful every single day.
I am thankful that I have God in my life. I have two angel-faced blessings that I look upon each day, enriching my belief that God is there. I thank God for giving us the opportunity to live comfortably (while not rich) and giving us everything that we need. I pray I can convey my massive thankfulness to Him in my daily life and do not get muddled with the everyday hustle and bustle.
I am thankful for my husband and children. They provide the joy in my existence. I love them and relish the love they give to me.
I am thankful to my parents. They spoil and love me unconditionally. I feel lucky to have been born to such wonderful parents. I also feel lucky to have married a man with a mother who I now call my own and who also loves me unconditionally.
I am thankful for my extended family and friends. They are like a warm blanket of support. I know that if I need prayers or support, I need only to ask.
So, I simply want to say, "Thank You," and I wish you all wonderful Thanksgiving Day.
I am thankful that I have God in my life. I have two angel-faced blessings that I look upon each day, enriching my belief that God is there. I thank God for giving us the opportunity to live comfortably (while not rich) and giving us everything that we need. I pray I can convey my massive thankfulness to Him in my daily life and do not get muddled with the everyday hustle and bustle.
I am thankful for my husband and children. They provide the joy in my existence. I love them and relish the love they give to me.
I am thankful to my parents. They spoil and love me unconditionally. I feel lucky to have been born to such wonderful parents. I also feel lucky to have married a man with a mother who I now call my own and who also loves me unconditionally.
I am thankful for my extended family and friends. They are like a warm blanket of support. I know that if I need prayers or support, I need only to ask.
So, I simply want to say, "Thank You," and I wish you all wonderful Thanksgiving Day.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
It's Potty-Time!
After posting my frustrations on potty training last week, I decided that Krista was just not ready. I put her back in her diapers and never mentioned a potty training word to her. Last night she spots the Skittles on the desk and says, "I make a potty?!" I told her that if she goes in the potty, she can select two Skittles. Off she goes and potty she does make.
She repeats this cycle about 30 minutes later, only this time she shouts, "It's potty time!" She does this again 30 minutes later. Each time, she successfully goes. I'm so excited. I ask her if she has to go one more time before we get in the car to pick up Josh. She goes.
We end up going to Target to buy more Skittles as they seem to do the trick. We buy a giant bag of Skittles and a pretty glass jar with a lid that screws on - so she can see the Skittles and be further tempted. The best part is, she went potty on the big toilet at Target when we got there and when we left!
So far today, I have had her in training underwear, which were still dry a few minutes ago. Like everything else she does, Krista has her own internal timeframe and when she's ready she goes full force. I pray for no back tracking now!
She repeats this cycle about 30 minutes later, only this time she shouts, "It's potty time!" She does this again 30 minutes later. Each time, she successfully goes. I'm so excited. I ask her if she has to go one more time before we get in the car to pick up Josh. She goes.
We end up going to Target to buy more Skittles as they seem to do the trick. We buy a giant bag of Skittles and a pretty glass jar with a lid that screws on - so she can see the Skittles and be further tempted. The best part is, she went potty on the big toilet at Target when we got there and when we left!
So far today, I have had her in training underwear, which were still dry a few minutes ago. Like everything else she does, Krista has her own internal timeframe and when she's ready she goes full force. I pray for no back tracking now!
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