Friday, November 28, 2008
Josh told me the other day that he was making funny "end of shift" reports at the end of each week that he sends to his supervisors. His coworkers get a kick out of these random humorous rants, so I told him he should post them to the blog. I find them funny and you may, too.
Check out Josh's birthday dedication blog that I wrote for him, to have some background about him. Now, I will have some oreo fluff today, thank you very much!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Do you remember that song that was sung by Kermit the Frog? The one that goes, "Why are there so many songs about rainbows? And what’s on the other side?" I was thinking about this the other day while I was sharpening my axe. I think Kermit is either a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time, or he is a genius mastermind who actually devised an elaborate plan to get rid of songs about rainbows by making the rainbow colors synonymous with the gay community. We already can figure out how he voted on Proposition 8 in California. He voted for it! The reason I believe this to be true is because he obviously hates songs about rainbows and he knows that to be a part of the gay community is not that popular or else they would have passed Proposition 8.
I mean how else are you going to get rid of rainbow songs? Have you heard a song about rainbows in the last 20 years? I bet you cannot name one! I sure can't. I mean maybe Barney had one or two but we all know what team Barney bats for. Plus that sick twisted freak is a bonified chubby chaser and has no business being around children in the first place. Well enough about Barney the big purple dinosaur, Kermit is the focus of this weeks end of shift report.
I am not saying anything bad about Kermit; in fact I really admire his divisiveness and ability to say to himself "I don't like songs about rainbows, now what am I going to do about it." Most of us would have just sat down and cried about it, or convinced themselves that the problem is too big to tackle, but not Kermit the Frog. No, He got up off his green water tight ass and did something about it! We could all learn from his example that if you put your mind to something, you can do anything! It is no wonder why he is king of the puppet community and it is Kermit who got the girl (Miss Piggy). Miss Piggy doesn’t want to hang around Gonzo or even Animal. When she was faced with the task of who is she going to sleep with at the end of the day, she went for the smart guy.
So here’s to you Kermit the Frog, I lift my glass to you tonight as I recognize the pure genius of your ways. God bless you and America, the land of opportunity, the only place in the world that you can get rid of songs about rainbows by making rainbow colors synonymous with homosexuality.
I am thankful that I have God in my life. I have two angel-faced blessings that I look upon each day, enriching my belief that God is there. I thank God for giving us the opportunity to live comfortably (while not rich) and giving us everything that we need. I pray I can convey my massive thankfulness to Him in my daily life and do not get muddled with the everyday hustle and bustle.
I am thankful for my husband and children. They provide the joy in my existence. I love them and relish the love they give to me.
I am thankful to my parents. They spoil and love me unconditionally. I feel lucky to have been born to such wonderful parents. I also feel lucky to have married a man with a mother who I now call my own and who also loves me unconditionally.
I am thankful for my extended family and friends. They are like a warm blanket of support. I know that if I need prayers or support, I need only to ask.
So, I simply want to say, "Thank You," and I wish you all wonderful Thanksgiving Day.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
She repeats this cycle about 30 minutes later, only this time she shouts, "It's potty time!" She does this again 30 minutes later. Each time, she successfully goes. I'm so excited. I ask her if she has to go one more time before we get in the car to pick up Josh. She goes.
We end up going to Target to buy more Skittles as they seem to do the trick. We buy a giant bag of Skittles and a pretty glass jar with a lid that screws on - so she can see the Skittles and be further tempted. The best part is, she went potty on the big toilet at Target when we got there and when we left!
So far today, I have had her in training underwear, which were still dry a few minutes ago. Like everything else she does, Krista has her own internal timeframe and when she's ready she goes full force. I pray for no back tracking now!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
If someone gets too close to your workspace: Gently place your foot on their face and push. The person will then fall to the floor and cry, greatly reducing their presence in your space.
If someone tries to steal your work: Grab what you are working on and yell, "NO, (Insert said person's name)!" Continue to yell at a higher and higher pitch and hunch over the work so the person can not take it.
If you see someone using the fax machine or another piece of shared office equipment: You should scream across the room, "Mine!" in your most whiny voice.
If the boss happens to be in the room: Hand over all of your work and supplies to the coworker as a sign of your willingness to work as a team (and so you won't get written up).
If a coworker has candy on their desk: Shove as much in your mouth at once as you can fit. Devour it all, except for one piece. Take that one last piece of candy and hold it in your hand as long as you can. Maybe this saved piece of candy will be a bargaining chip or perhaps you must save it in case there is a shortage of food.
And, finally, on the subject of the office restroom: Never ever be coerced into using the office restroom. You should wear a diaper all day and not attempt to use the restroom, even if your diaper is so wet that it saturates the back of your pants.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
FRIDAY @ 5PM: Instead of asking, "Do you want to go sit on the potty", in which she would respond, "Nope", I started a timer and just say, "OK - it's potty time." I then inforce the countdown and she comes with me to the potty chair and sits down. I also give her training underwear instead of a diaper to wear. I also made a chart and everytime she makes a potty on the chair she can make a star and when she gets 5 stars she gets a sucker. At first the timer was set to 30 minute intervals, but she wets her underwear between each potty chair visit. I change the timer to 15 minutes. She stays dry during a few of the intervals and even potties a tiny bit in the potty chair. She still wets herself in her underwear and doesn't let me know, she doesn't even care.
SATURDAY: Went to Grandma's house and forgot the potty chair - back to square one. She still does not say anything when she has wet/dirty diaper.
SUNDAY: Out for church and eating out, so she has a diaper on - I decide to wait till Monday to start again. Not one word about when her diaper is dirty or wet, I only change the diaper when I feel she is wet or can smell her across the room.
MONDAY: Timer started for 15 minute intervals. So far today she has had three different pairs of training underwear on and is on her second pair of pants. She pottied in the potty chair twice, but doesn't seem to care or have any differentiation between going in her pants or the potty chair. I am about to go back to the diapers after the next wet underwear.
Any ideas from other potty training parents? Is she just not ready or do I need to stay firm with her? It doesn't help that Gabriel thinks he needs to "help" us everytime we try to use the potty chair.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Another goodbye goes out to a tree. Across the street (Faye's old house with the two very very large sycamore trees), the neighbor cut down one the large sycamore trees. I was glad to be free of SOME of the giant leaves that fall, but was sad to see this tree go - since it has been there my entire life. I'm not sure if the other tree will be going or not, but I will have to get used to the new view.