Kermit the Frog…
Do you remember that song that was sung by Kermit the Frog? The one that goes, "Why are there so many songs about rainbows? And what’s on the other side?" I was thinking about this the other day while I was sharpening my axe. I think Kermit is either a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time, or he is a genius mastermind who actually devised an elaborate plan to get rid of songs about rainbows by making the rainbow colors synonymous with the gay community. We already can figure out how he voted on Proposition 8 in California. He voted for it! The reason I believe this to be true is because he obviously hates songs about rainbows and he knows that to be a part of the gay community is not that popular or else they would have passed Proposition 8.
I mean how else are you going to get rid of rainbow songs? Have you heard a song about rainbows in the last 20 years? I bet you cannot name one! I sure can't. I mean maybe Barney had one or two but we all know what team Barney bats for. Plus that sick twisted freak is a bonified chubby chaser and has no business being around children in the first place. Well enough about Barney the big purple dinosaur, Kermit is the focus of this weeks end of shift report.
I am not saying anything bad about Kermit; in fact I really admire his divisiveness and ability to say to himself "I don't like songs about rainbows, now what am I going to do about it." Most of us would have just sat down and cried about it, or convinced themselves that the problem is too big to tackle, but not Kermit the Frog. No, He got up off his green water tight ass and did something about it! We could all learn from his example that if you put your mind to something, you can do anything! It is no wonder why he is king of the puppet community and it is Kermit who got the girl (Miss Piggy). Miss Piggy doesn’t want to hang around Gonzo or even Animal. When she was faced with the task of who is she going to sleep with at the end of the day, she went for the smart guy.
So here’s to you Kermit the Frog, I lift my glass to you tonight as I recognize the pure genius of your ways. God bless you and America, the land of opportunity, the only place in the world that you can get rid of songs about rainbows by making rainbow colors synonymous with homosexuality.